Michael Phelps

Has everyone heard the news about Michael Phelps? You've probably had it shoved down your throat by every newspaper, radio station, and news channel by now. It's pissing me off.

CNN went to the streets and asked a bunch of random people what they thought about the "controversial" photo of Mr. Phelps taking a hit on a bong. One woman said she was offended. Seriously? What is the matter with people? It is ridiculous to take offense to the actions of a person you do not know, particularly when they do not affect you. I do understand that this behavior does not contribute positively to your young son's idea of a hero, but then hero worship is unhealthy. One should not aspire to be like someone else; one should aspire to be the best person the he or she possibly can be. Don't teach your kids to be like Michael Phelps, or anyone else but themselves. Oh, and by the way, CNN. That's really not news. Another twenty-something tried weed. I think the fact that I lost two pounds yesterday is bigger news.

But let's get something straight: Winning nine million, four hundred and sixty-three thousand, three hundred and eighty-two gold medals at the Olympics, while indeed quite an achievement, does not elevate one to god status. He is a person and therefore prone to error (though it is more likely that the only event he considers to be a mistake is allowing that photo to be taken). And honestly, he smoked pot. I think there are worse things. He didn't stab three of his friends, run around town naked, then break into some poor, unsuspecting family's house and raid their fridge. (I say this with a certain amount of confidence, because if people consider a celebrity smoking weed to be noteworthy, then I'm sure we would have heard about what happened next. He probably sat around and was like, "Dude.....dude.")

And Michael? Stop citing your age as an excuse, please. Quit being a pandering, spineless ass and either accept full responsibility for your actions or just don't apologize. The people who are silly enough to take your trips to Margaritaville and Stoned World personally are not going to be brought back with an apology. You didn't do anything wrong, anyway. Except the picture. That was stupid.

So let's leave Michael Phelps alone and stop blaming him for the corruption of America's children. Instead of getting angry with some celebrity every time he does something questionable because he is your kid's hero, try taking some initiative and being a more involved parent. No icon should be able to influence children more than their own parents.

(And if smoking weed is the worst thing your kid ever does, you really can't complain when you live in a world filled with murderers, rapists, and drivers from New Jersey.)