Not nearly as profound as it sounds. That was almost a rhyme; congratulate me.
This is going to be so ridiculously capacious that in favor of sparing the people who have nothing better to do a long, boring read (and to give me something to post for awhile), I shall present this in segments. Here is segment the first. Enjoy.
No, wait, I lied. I'm too bleegggha;dvfeije to put it up tonight. Tomorrow, then. I'm going to go rent Love Actually.
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