So, fuck the schedule. I've been on break and now I'm back, not that anybody cares.
Today I'm going to tell you some secrets.
Secretly...
Mike Gravel is Lyndon LaRouche. Barely disguised.
Hillary Clinton is conservative. ...Oops.
Fred Thompson is Judge Hathorne. That makes Pat Robertson Reverend Parris.
John McCain is very, very confused.
Bill Richardson is a rap video choreographer.
Dick Cheney is the monster in your closet. (He shares that space with Larry Craig.)
John Edwards is Gilderoy Lockhart.
Dennis Kucinich freaking cracks me up. Tell me the one about the UFO again? Oh, right, that wasn't a joke...
Mike Huckabee might just be an actual "Compassionate Conservative." Tooooo bad.
Mitt Romney is a sex scandal waiting to happen.
Joe Biden reminds me of that Senator Kelly guy from X-Men. I think it's the creepy hair.
And Condi wants George. Real, real bad.
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